Hey, I thought I would send this week’s edition out on Saturday to try something different. Most people who talk about faith would have sent something out something earlier in the weekend or even last weekend. Why? This last weekend was an occasion where Easter, Passover, and Ramadan all occur on the same weekend. However, instead of giving you preparatory advice, I thought I would deliver an after-action thought. So let’s talk about Holy Time.
Have you ever got amped for the big day, and it let you down when it arrived? I don’t know what your Holy Day is. Maybe it’s the Super Bowl or your birthday. Perhaps it was or will be your wedding day. Whatever it is, we have this day set apart. And to be honest, many times, we don’t get the high from it that we were hoping for. Usually, this leaves us with two options, crank it up for the next year or let it go descending into normalcy.
But before we explore those two options, let’s examine what Holy Time even is. Most people are unaware that such a named thing even exists. In the Liturgical calendar, holy time is all the times, not named ordinary time (see picture). Before I confuse you further, Liturgy refers to a form or methodology of worship. The Liturgical Calendar has been created and used by the Christian church for millennia.
Consider the Liturgical Calendar for Major League Baseball. It would include spring training, opening day, the season, playoffs, trade deadlines, and the off-season (ordinary time).
So let’s talk about cranking up or winding down Holy Time.
Table of Contents
Get HYPED!!!!!!
Let’s begin where most of us start when things aren’t as extraordinary as we would like them to be. CRANK IT UP!!!!!!
The most straightforward conclusion for most of us to jump to is that it isn’t as memorable because we didn’t put as much in this year or this time. After all, the adage goes, “You get out what you put in.”
The adage is true to a certain degree. If you were busy with projects or stress (and who isn’t), you didn’t have enough time or energy to make it unique. You rolled into the birthday party already exhausted and mentally elsewhere. The Super Bowl Party wings and beer lacked a certain panache because you couldn’t engage. You hadn’t kept up with the teams, and you had been so busy with work you couldn’t connect with guests because you had to catch up on their lives.
The Egg Hunt couldn’t carry the joy from your children to you because you couldn’t connect and receive what they were giving. So what to do? Go Bigger on Easter, right? Giant eggs, more guests, better food, maybe a bouncy house, and then we get a DJ next year. But does that bring joy from your kids to you? Does that help you connect with the people you are missing? Does bigger equal better?
When it comes to Holy Time, I have found that a group is needed. But big is often too big. Holy Time is meant to be a communal experience. How boring and unfulfilling would Opening Day be if the stands weren’t packed and the radio not analyzing every pitch and swing? But is it better to have a few close friends or a crowded party with loose connections? I would argue for the former because gathering that crowd often requires too much for you. You can’t slow down enough to enjoy the Holy Day. Hartmut Rosa demonstrates that the acceleration needed to pull off the ever-bigger event that makes the Holy Day special ultimately alienates us.
You know it. That top-of-the-world feeling that you are all alone when you look around. That’s the alienation that comes from acceleration. So if winding up doesn’t work, what about winding down?
Winding Down
So another option, if you aren’t going to get amped up for an event, is to chill out and protect yourself. Instead of getting invested in something too heavily only for it to let you down, you just kind of float into an event. You’re pleasant if it goes well and not too crestfallen when it fails to satisfy.
This is my go-to because Everything Is Fine.
But you know who you are robbing when you go with this approach? Yeah, the kids and spouse, but also you.
I suspect most of us choose the wind-down approach to protect us from the inevitable heartbreak of unsatisfying Holy Days. So we keep winding down and winding down until nothing affects us. Then we wonder why we can’t feel anymore? We wonder why our kids and our families no longer excite us?
It is because we have protected ourselves from our feelings about them. And now we have to work to open ourselves up again, which will be painful. New feelings almost always flow through pain channels until we can sort them out.
The Antidote
So what’s the antidote? It isn’t up or down. It is presence.
I have read the great stories of great men and women. But, do you know the cost of a great man – a man we read about for time immemorial? The great man fails to do the basic good for his family.
It has been my experience that when we are not too burnt out creating a House of Cards or too afraid to feel, it all comes down to one thing. We yearn for a greatness that cannot be grasped without a cost. As it has been in every Biblical and literary character, that cost is family. We look at the world beyond, above, or beneath our family and miss true goodness.
Holy Days are for a sense of community. They remind us of the goodness that exists right before us. Our families and friends bring us what greatness never will. Holy Days bring us a virtue that is full of life. And isn’t that why we chase greatness in the first place. We want life to be good and full, even overflowing.
Here is the truth. And hear me not as some perfectly pious person, for I speak this truth to myself every day and sometimes more often because I too get wrapped up in my own greatness and without even knowing it… I trade away my goodness.
And this goodness is achieved in not some great or magnificent action. It is in the presence of the mundane. We must nurture this instinct because it seems unnatural. I even resent writing the words myself. But just because I don’t like it doesn’t make it less true.
What’s Really Important?
What’s important on the Holy Days is to be present and accept it for what it is. That means both preparation and dissatisfaction. Our dissatisfaction demonstrates a desire for another chance, another opportunity to grow, change, and become present with the most important people. It also shows us that we care. Of course, we prepare the best for our loved ones, but we cannot sacrifice our loved ones to achieve the best.
Holy Days remind us that time can be full. Time doesn’t change its pace. A day is just that, a day. But we often fill our days with busyness rather than making our days full.
So that’s the invitation. Make your Holy Day. Be it the Super Bowl, The Day of Pentecost, Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year’s Day, or even just your birthday. Fill it not with things and busyness. Because things and work can fill our time, but they can never make it whole. Make the time full by filling it with the people who make your life whole.
P.S.
I am trying to grow this newsletter. If you have found this or any of my writing helpful, it would be beneficial to forward it to someone who might need it. That can be a boss, coworker, neighbor, or friend. It can even be an acquaintance. The reason I want to grow is not to make myself great. Instead, it is to get feedback and better serve you. The more readers, the more questions, and the better I am at creating things that genuinely help you.
